Commentary on the football in this month's South African world cup has been drowned out by an ominous sound – the droning roar of the dreaded Vuvuzela!
by JAMES TWEEDIE
The media opinion columns and comment boards have been buzzing with debate about the “attack of the killer bees” sound of the mass-produced metre-long plastic horns with which every football fan in South Africa is now armed.
There is nothing at all new about fans making noise at football matches. Wooden rattles have been replaced by compressed air horns. Entire brass bands with drums and cymbals are commonly seen at international fixtures.
The origin of the Vuvuzela is uncertain. A similar instrument called a corneta has been commonplace at football grounds across South America since the 1970s. The vuvuzela appeared in South Africa in the 1990s, originally made from tin or aluminium.
But, according to Wikipedia, veteran Kaizer Chiefs F.C. fan Freddie "Saddam" Maake claims to have invented the vuvuzela as early as 1965 by taking a bicycle horn, removing the rubber bulb and blowing it with his mouth. He decided it was too short to produce the desired noise and added a pipe to make it longer.
Maake has photos of himself holding the prototype vuvuzela at South African league games in the 1970s and 1980s and international matches in 1992 and 1996 and at the 1998 World Cup in France.
He says that the instrument was banned by authorities who claimed it was a dangerous weapon, which prompted him to find a plastic company that could manufacture it.
South African firm Masincedane Sport began mass-producing plastic vuvuzelas in 2001. Now two German entrepreneurs have bought the rights to make and sell them in Europe.
South African firm Masincedane Sport began mass-producing plastic vuvuzelas in 2001. Now two German entrepreneurs have bought the rights to make and sell them in Europe.
If you think all that is far fetched then try these snippets of trivia:
The name vuvuzela is possibly derived from a Zulu word meaning “making a vuvu noise,” or from a township slang term for a shower attachment.
Plastic vuvuzelas can allegedly sound the note b-flat at 127 decibels – somewhere between the volume of a pneumatic riveter and a gunshot. Some carry a graphic symbol warning the user not to blow it in someone else's ear.
Masincedane Sport co-owner Neil van Schalkwyk is reportedly doing a roaring trade selling plastic earplugs to football fans who don't like his vuvuzelas.
Critics have variously described the vuvuzela as annoying, like a stampede of elephants, a swarm of locusts, a goat on the way to slaughter, “a giant hive full of very angry bees” and even “satanic.”
Netherlands coach Bert van Marwijk and Spanish midfielder Xabi Alonso have called for a ban on the vuvuzela. Argentina and Barcelona star Lionel Messi complained that the sound of the vuvuzelas hampered communication among players on the pitch.
Thankfully FIFA president Fifa president Sepp Blatter is far more relaxed about the issue. In response to questions he posted on social time-wasting website Twitter: "I have always said that Africa has a different rhythm, a different sound.
"I don't see banning the music traditions of fans in their own country. Would you want to see a ban on the fan traditions in your country?"
Legendary South African jazz flugelhorn player Hugh Masekela, who performed at the world cup kick-off concert in Soweto on June 10, has remained strangely silent about the instrument which rhymes with his surname.
The Morning Star of London (http://tiny.cc/lhqk8) reported that even before Portugal's dismal 0-0 draw against Ivory Coast on Tuesday, conceited and petulant captain Cristiano Ronaldo – who has not scored a goal for the national side in 16 months – was claiming that the Vuvuzela distracted players (i.e. his) concentration.
This brings us to the second point of this article. The big teams in this world cup do not seem to be taking it very seriously, do they? Or perhaps they are just not up to the reputation which precedes them.
South Africa scoring the first goal of the tournament against Mexico was a shock. France's 0-0 draw with Uruguay was also a surprise. England should have done to the USA what Germany did to Australia. Portugal deserved to be beaten by Ivory Coast, as did Italy by Paraguay. Hard-working and spirited outsiders DPRK deserved to share the points with an arrogant and lazy Brazil.
Spain was the first team to get what they deserved in this tournament, against Switzerland this morning. Maybe now the millionaire playboys of the top-ten seeded teams will wake up and start playing football.